Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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