The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
