i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
