it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
