he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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