I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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