I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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