I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
