Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
