sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
