I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
it's like iHOP with fire
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
