Im at strip club and am horny
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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