Just cropdusted the office
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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