I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
