Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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