I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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