reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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