fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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