6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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