I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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