my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
that may or may not have been my penis.
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