I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
