She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize