So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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