turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Im just a social blackout drinker.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
