I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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