That's intense
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize