Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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