he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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