Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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