garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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