We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
