Porn is love you can see.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
