shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
They took my balls.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
