im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
