I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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