do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
