wat bout pragnant strippers??
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
