He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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