have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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