I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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