i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
