ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
