the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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