dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
