Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize