Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize