Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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