Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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