I'm jealous of your bromance
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
