Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
