Im at strip club and am horny
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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