Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
