3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
