We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
