We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
