May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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