Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.