Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night