You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.