Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day