Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.