I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
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I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...