I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?