Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
