At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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