Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
