id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
