Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
