If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
